Tag: mental-health

Left not Knowing from Right

Life is so complex, daunting, scary, fun, and just a big bag of unknowns. Not knowing what path to take, not knowing if the choices you are making on a daily basis are the correct ones. In the end, your life and your choices impact not only yourself but the people around you. Observing how I carry myself while living around many different people, from different cultures, ethnicities, backgrounds, and overall different perspectives, I have come to realize how much we impact one another.

We feed off one another like one living organism trying to find food, and comfort on the way to survival. It is an odd way to think about it but honestly I am surprised by other’s reactions, even strangers, from simple common interactions I may have with them. I am just trying to survive as well in this crazy world and figure out my identity and make sure I choose a path that will lead to my children’s and families success. But I have noticed, it is better to live with the wholistic thriving organism instead of hiding myself and my family to just a certain group.

Sharing the small wins in life, being empathetic, and overall treating others with decent respect along your life journey can cause a huge ripple affect. Whether if you are aware of it or not. Take a moment, and extend a hand no matter which one it might be. Live life and simultaneously raise others up by living with them. There is so much good in this world even though it appears to being damning right now in today’s climate.

It is hard to keep focus on the good and focus on the different hands life dealt us. Left hand is doing one thing while the right hand doing something completely different. One thing I know for sure is to start focusing on the small good items in the life that both paths or hands are dealing with and try to bring them together in synergy. Extremely hard but possible!

Community

Losing ones sense of self is extremely easy. There are so many distractions and tons of chaos that surrounds us on a daily basis. Hell life is full of unfortunate events that can happen in a moments time to dismantle us off our course. OR, is this chaos and moments there to redirect us to a path that we missed.

Lately, I am realizing something my father used to tell me is coming back full circle. A way of living that I really didn’t realize was inbreed in me is now going to bring me back on a path I miss. A friend recently reminded me of this way of living in one simple statement, “Keep your community close because among this chaos, they are the ones that will be there to support you and your family.”

I grew up being guided that community is only your family, blood. But I struggled to believe this, even at a young age. Let’s just say on both my mother and father’s side my blood family would distance themselves from my sister and me because we thought differently in this sense. My sister was lucky enough to find a friend community in her high school friends that are all heavily involved in her life to this day. Something I am grateful they have adopted me into. But when do I start my own community. A community that is not long distance or virtual. A community that I find solace in and one that I find support but also contribute to support them. I am tired of bouncing around from work community to work community. I love all my friends and family that are all in different states and countries but I am missing a close presence they can not fill.

How, in today’s world of chaos, do I find a path that leads me to a local community, and one that I can trust?

Fear and Realization

Lately, I have come to realize that fear holds many of us back, including myself, to become the best versions of ourselves. Fear prevented me from writing anymore. I was scared others, besides a trusted friend, were reading my intimate thoughts and feeling. Complete strangers were seeing a side of me many I hold dear to me barely ever see. I have realized though that I want to move past my fears, big or small. I want to become the best version of myself no matter other peoples concerns, opinions, or my owner inner fears.

It is amazing how the hardest thing to do in life is battling with myself on a daily basis. Even in today’s world with the political and environmental climate, I still struggle with my inner thoughts and fear multiple times a day. I have to tell myself, I am lucky, I am loved, I am worthy, and to keep moving forward. To most this might sound a bit silly since there are so many other devasting occurrences that have occurred and are occurring. But, my inner battle to face the world and be apart of it, is my hardest challenge and biggest fear to conquer.

To overcome these insecurities and fear, I decided to write down what I want from myself. Things that no one else can help me with and hold myself accountable. Now this list I have accumulates is not an easy task, is daunting, and will take years to accomplish but I have seen small changes already in my daily life. It is my reset in mentality that I was needing to start really living life instead of just walking through the motions and allowing my fear hold me back.

I am on this journey, no one else, and I am the only one who can make the change, no one else and the fear of others’ opinions will not stop me.