Changes

How many changes and life curveballs can one person handle? Is resilience a positive attribute? Being patient is known as a key, likeable trait, but how much patience can one have before they start to crumble?

All things considered, I am moving forward, not backward, in today’s world. I count my blessings and check myself daily to see how I can improve. What steps and moves do I have to take to proceed further and not backward? While trying to do this, many life occurrences occur that stop me in my tracks and try to prevent me from moving forward. Friends and family joke that I have bad luck, and that if they were in my scenarios or situation, they would just stop. Every time I hear this or get a sense of woahs from others, I feel some type of way. It feels like pity, but interestingly enough, it makes me realize how resilient I am. They are aware of many life curveballs because they ask. I don’t call them to complain or anything, I just call because I want human interaction with friends and family. It leads into the typical, How was your day or What are you doing today, and I end up telling them. These changes are my life currently, a moment in time that apparently would stop most in their tracks, but I chose to get moving forward. Oddly enough, I don’t even hesitate but take steps without missing a beat to hit or dodge the curve ball coming at me full speed.

I am not sure what is in store for me, and I am not sure why so many curveballs are being thrown at me daily. I do know that my patience is dwindling, and I am trying everything in my power to keep level-headed. To not allow other people’s thoughts, wants, desires, issues, or grievances stop me or change me. This is the hardest part in my life right now, to not mold my path based on others. To not take on other people’s emotions as my own, and change my choices based on others’ feelings, insecurities, or their own demons they are battling with.

I can not bend to others to battle these life changes and move forward for my family and me. Even if I love them and they love me.