It was advised to write if you are overthinking. Welp, I am definitely overthinking EVERYTHING right now. There are so many moving parts and paths that it is hard to keep everything aligned. Yes, I keep lists and prioritize items for daily, weekly, and even monthly tasks, but there are other variables at play. Many things that are out of my control completely. For instance, when my third child comes. When the little one decides to come into this world, it is completely out of my hands. My due date is not until the end of July, but the baby has dropped, hormonal switches are occurring, and a few other indicators that the baby may grace us with their presence sooner rather than later.
This is something small in comparison to the toxic wars occurring in other countries and mothers losing their babies due to a lack of nutrition. Although, nonetheless, I am worried as it is too early. So, trying to rest as much as possible to prevent any early labor. Easier said than done when contractors are scamming us, we still have not moved into our new home, insurance companies are not processing items for our claim on time, family drama, two other children to take care of, continuing to work full time, and many other life duties. Every day, I have to choose to put aside the stressors of overthinking everything that needs to get done to rest for the baby I am carrying. To prevent my body from going into early labor due to stress. I have decided to slow down, put the baby and my health first. Honestly, it is hard! We can’t afford for me to stop working, and my husband’s job needs a ton of his attention, so our two kids both need us. Yes, he is doing everything in his power to make sure I can rest, but he can’t carry the burden and weight of everything. I see in his eyes how tired he has been, and I can see how stressed he is while he deals with talking to insurance and contractors about our new home. Overall, we both have to make the decisions in the end on where to spend money, if we get lawyers involved, since both the insurance company and contractors are legit taking advantage of the situation that was supposed to be completed in 2-3 weeks, but it has been over 2 months.
Adulting and decision-making are never an easy road. Not only is it stressful, but it is something no one can confirm or dictate the right choices. All of them are situation-dependent on your own life path and your family. I am learning, many people are not looking out for you or your family. Something I was taught while growing up, to not trust anyone but family. But here is the thing, even my own blood has not been helpful lately. The hardest decisions lately have been determining who I can and can not trust. This has led me to lean on my gut instincts more and more lately, and so far, that is leading me down a path I am not complaining about. Interestingly enough, the decisions become clearer when I slow down and become more aware of my gut instincts. I just need to listen.
Nobody-Default 