I don’t know my breaking point or why I keep trying to move forward. Life and the world are unpredictable and shit comes out of the left field. The people in this world that can enjoy life and bounce back quickly from setbacks, I not only admire but also wish to know their secrets.
My troubles are not that dire compared to many other endeavors people have to endure in today’s world. I am struggling tho to bounce back and find a path to happiness. I do not know how I am going to get out of this slump. There are so many great things I have going for me but it is still hard to not focus on the bad.
I think I have people trying to either purposely or subconsciously make me look bad at work. It shouldn’t get to me as much as it is but it is hard to think that a few people’s perceptions or suggestions of who I am can wash away 5 years of hard work.
Now, with this being known, I am trying to take accountability for my actions and not others. I can not control other people’s choices, words, or actions. I can only control mine. I am choosing to be quiet at the moment and not involve myself. Kind of sad about this choice but at the same time it is a survival mechanism. I have noticed that this is a pattern, the moment people start to attack my character I tend to back down, hibernate, become silent, and cower away.
The people around me at work have broken me and now I am cowering away. I am not sure how to bounce back from this and not sure if I should continue to flow with my normal behavior or try to challenge myself and now cower. To be honest, I don’t know if it is worth challenging myself to bounce back in their environment.
Nobody-Default 