Give myself time and grace to process. This is a huge order that I am struggling with because it is difficult but also because the world around us doesn’t stop. The main thing I have is the luxury to set aside time to process and heal from the things that trouble me. This I am grateful for as many people are given the value of time.
I grew up constantly moving, bouncing around from one event, house, job to the next. Waking up and springing out of bed to start your day was the norm. There wasnt time to process, or self-refelx. I used to think this was a great thing, to not have time to focus on one-self. It was easier to focus on daily tasks of hosting, cleaning, homework, etc. instead on sparing through my inner thoughts and feelings. I honestly miss it because my inner thoughts and feeling are not only scary but it is hard to sit with one-self.
Over the past two years, I decided to start sitting in quiet. To distance the noise of the world around me and sit with myself. Call it meditation if you will but I don’t have breathing, humming, or chant techniques. I just sit there and think/feel. I allow my thoughts to process and my feelings to wash over me. Many times I tend to cry due to the overwhelming sensation but at the end it is freeing.
That sense of freedom and privilege of time to spend with myself is something I have grown to cherish and not fear.
Nobody-Default 